Sacrifices and 500 More Shillings

After publishing my last post I continued to think about what I had shared and what it all means. Incidentally, Margaret called me again a little while ago saying she got the money we sent for half of her fare (another missionary family sent the other half), and asked if we will send 500 more shillings so she can leave her kids with money for food while she's gone.
I have to confess that there was a part of me that felt a bit frustrated. She "borrowed" 2,000/- a few months ago before she went back upcountry, asked for 1,000/- last month to give to the hospital (we sent her 2,000/-), and then this week she had asked for the money for her fare to come back to Nairobi. Needless to say, I quietly asked myself, "Am I a sucker being taken advantage of?"
I really like Margaret! Prior to her requests above, she had not asked for money from us the whole time we've known her. We've had some wonderful conversations about God and His sovereignty and goodness while sitting on the ground in our carport while she filleted fish. She loves loves loves Micah, and is always so touched when he sits and visits also. And she called me to ask for prayer not money when she lost her baby a couple of months ago.
I do believe that if she asks for money then she must need it. She has 5 or 6 kids, one of which she took in years ago when she learned that he didn't have a home. She spends several months at a time away from home selling fish here in Nairobi so she can provide for her family. (She has a husband but I'm not sure what he does.) That is a huge sacrifice!
Interestingly, sacrifice is exactly what I was contemplating after publishing my last post before she called. Considering the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made for everyone, we, as His followers, are certainly called to make sacrifices of our own. I believe that as each relationship with Jesus is different (and therefore personal) so too are sacrifices different for each believer.
Although I have not sacrificed by leaving my husband and son as Margaret has, leaving my family and good friends in San Diego has been a sacrifice for me. Although I have not sacrificed conveniences such as electricity and water as some missionaries have by living in the bush, inconsistent power and not having clean city water every day (water is turned off Tuesday through Thursday but we have tanks) has been a bit of a sacrifice.
I could list many other "sacrifices" however they are all bearable. When I look at the big picture, when I look at the different sacrifices that are made every day by everyone, when I consider that God is all knowing, I have to ask myself, "What is 500 more shillings?"

So many needs!

Two years in Kenya - two birthdays, two Christmas', two anniversaries, two Easters, four cats (not all at once), many friends, many frustrations, many joys, and many needs. What has been heavy on our hearts most days are the overwhelming needs we see and are confronted with everywhere.
Wycliff, our handyman, recently shared with us that he and his family have had times of not having food to eat (of course, we pleaded with him to tell us next time that happens) and they need to buy another school uniform for their son but don't have the money; the two young night gate guards of our cul-de-sac express being hungry and ask for food almost every night; Margaret, the fish seller, has needed money for medical care then help to pay for the fare to return to Nairobi to sell fish; Jared, one of the estate gate guards, asked one night for some food to take home for his family; people randomly stop Robb and ask for a job; John, the owner of the shop outside our estate gate, had to prolong his trip upcountry to plant his crops again due to no rains, which left his wife Violet to run the shop alone (where she had been held up at gunpoint several times the last time John was away); barefoot kids begging at our car windows; mothers sitting with their children along the side of the road asking for food and money; children leading to each car a blind adult holding out a cup...
At times we feel so overwhelmed by all the needs around us, and we feel so helpless because we know we cannot help everyone. We pray for wisdom, and we discuss together who, how much, how often, and what else can we do? We certainly don't have the funds to help with all the financial needs that come to us, but we can help with food. When I go shopping, I often buy rice, or beans or maizemeal or flour to give to Dorcas our househelper or Wycliff. We always have packets of biscuits in our glovebox and can easily go through our cupboards to see what food we can offer, even if it is only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a banana!
What we also see here in Kenya is a born-into-it belief in God, and a general lack of depth in faith in God. There is an overwhelming number of believers of Mohammad, which we are reminded of every morning at 5am by the call to prayer several blocks away, and as we drive through town and see so many women covered head to toe and men wearing "dresses" (respectfully according to Micah).
We were recently shown a small way in which we are making a difference in a life. Two young cousins of our next-door neighbors come to stay with them during every school break. Abdul spent many hours in our house during the long Easter weekend playing with Micah. We usually always have Christian music playing and Micah is often heard singing along to many of the songs. Also, after church that Sunday, Micah had drawn a picture of Jesus' empty tomb and we listened as he explained it to Abdul.
What also brings us hope is to reflect back on the people we have helped, even in the smallest ways, to recall their appreciation and to remember that this is part of what we have been called to, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me." (Matt. 25:40) We are reminded that it is the seeds planted, the small waterings, and the light shining that are used by God to make a difference here in Kenya. We hope that each of you who have pray for us and support us know that you are also a big part of these small differences!

Addition to last post

After hitting the Publish Post button on my last post I realized I forgot something very important! I am asking you to please pray for Margaret and her family. You'll have to read the next post to find out why and how. Thanks so much!!

What we take for granted...

Several months ago a gate guard told me that the mom of our gate guard, Evans, was very sick but that he was having trouble coming up with the money to get upcountry to see her. He said he had helped Evans as much as he could, so Robb and I decided to give Evans some money so he could visit her. Last month Evans handed us a letter that he had had someone write for him (he did not get to go to school so he speaks very broken English and does not know how to read or write English.) His brother had died and he again needed money to go upcountry for the funeral. Of course we gave him money again. Not only has he been wonderful with Micah and all the other kids but these were the only two times he has asked us for money. We have been bombarded by some people with various "needs", so there is always the question of when to give and when not to give. As a book is aptly named, "When Helping Hurts", always giving when asked is not always helpful.

I recently learned that Evans is married but his wife lives upcountry. I do not know if he has kids. When in Nairobi, Evans lives in Kibera slum. He often works 6 days a week, 12 or 13 hour days, and goes home to visit his family every three or four months! It is quite common for people to leave their families and move to Nairobi with the hopes of getting a job. They then send almost all the money they earn to their family upcountry. It is most sad for me to hear of single moms who must leave their children for lengths of time in order to make money to live on, as one of our neighbor's house help lady shared with me.

Lastly, and most sad, is our friend Margaret (or Mama Samaki [fish] as she often calls herself) who sells us tilapia fillets. She also leaves her family upcountry to sell fish here in Nairobi, and also lives in Kibera slum. Anyway, she had a baby boy last August or September and named him Dick after an American pastor/missionary who was here for several years. I believe Dick was her 6th biological child, giving them seven children. (Margaret and her husband took in a young homeless boy about 10 years ago and made him part of their family.) Margaret was concerned when she found out she was pregnant first of all because she had been "closed up" after her last child, but also because she is in her mid-40's.

Dick's delivery was fine for the most part. Margaret however was "paining" internally for months after the delivery as she had had a "student doctor" who did not perform something correctly (probably also the problem with her supposed hysterectomy.)

Margaret brought Dick to Nairobi last November, which is when I got to meet him. He was a very alert, happy, smiley baby. She had also brought two of her daughters and one son to help her with the baby and selling fish.

Margaret called me last week to tell me that Dick was gone, he had died. Since she was calling me from upcountry I could not hear her well so I do not know exactly what happened to him. Margaret is a very strong believer and we have had some wonderful conversations about the Lord and His Word! Margaret was trying so hard to be strong, saying that "the Lord knows", "He is still good", etc. When I finally asked her how she is doing she said she is not strong and to please pray for her to be strong.

These few incidents caused me to reflect on the things we take for granted. First of all, we typically do not have to leave our family in order to earn money to survive. Secondly, we can usually find money somewhere to go visit a sick family member or attend a funeral. Also, we rarely give a second thought to the quality of medical care we receive. Training to become a doctor here requires far fewer years than training to become a doctor in the US. Lastly, when we or a family member gets sick, we typically have insurance and/or the money to see a doctor, and we have access to specialists, like a pediatrician. Here, if you do not have insurance or money to go to a non-profit or private hospital you must go to an overcrowded clinic or a state-run hospital where you do not have a choice as to which doctor you see, licensed or not.

What I have often seen in people like Margaret is a strong, unwavering faith in God. It seems that the harder life is (from my perspective!), and the fewer conveniences and benefits and opportunities one has the more room there is for the Lord. Not only to trust Him to provide regardless of what that looks like, but also to rely on Him more, to know Him more, to truly live in Him, and especially to experience His love in a way far different from how we might in America. What a lesson, and conviction, this has been for me!