Just finished Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place" today with the Bible study group I'm in. I'm not real keen on video Bible studies but I endured and was really challenged today. The premise of this study is learning about the Old Testament tabernacle and how it relates to us today. As you most likely know, the OT tabernacle was made up of the outer courtyard, the Holy place, and the Holy of holies where the ark of the covenant was kept. This last section was separated from the others with a huge veil, the veil which was torn when Christ died on the cross, making the final and ultimate sacrifice for all! Beth Moore wrote, "My friend, how He beckons you. How He longs for you to enter through the veil He tore for you. We have only this one experience to know Him as mortals. We can live our lives on the outer perimeters of our salvation, in Christ but not with Christ, or we can accept the challenge to enter and behold His glory!" "Can you live with the mediocrity of life in the outer court when you have been invited to dwell in the excellence of the innermost place? If you dare enter, you will never be the same. Nor will anyone around you." These are the words that challenged me, that have caused me to examine my life and realize that I have just been living day by day rather than embracing the life I have in Christ, and accepting and receiving all that He has for me. Sure, it's nice in the outer court. It's comfortable, and it's safe. As I consider dwelling there though, I see that for me it is a place of being lukewarm. It is where I spend my time looking around rather than up! We know what God says about being lukewarm!! I have a choice! Will I continue to allow my precious days to pass, leaving behind all of the blessings God had for me each day but I missed because I was busy just getting through the day, or will I choose to leave the comfort of mediocrity, pass straight through the Holy place and enter into His presence? "How deep you will allow God to draw you into His dwelling place is a choice only you can make." (Moore)
This is actually about yesterday, which was one of those days! I realized that so many missionary letters and blogs, including mine, are typically positive and fun, as if we are just shiny, happy people all the time! Well, believe it or not I am not shiny and happy all the time, but in fact, often feel dull and unhappy! (I am not sharing this to cause any kind of concern; I have more shiny, happy days than not!)
My flowers above perfectly illustrate my day! They were beautiful and smelled wonderful when I bought them THE DAY BEFORE! The pic above is what they looked like by the next afternoon! Now I know I shouldn't complain, they cost me all of $2.80! However, that is not the point! My day was not horrific, nothing catastrophic happened. Just enough little things to make it a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (yes, we have a 4 year old!)
On the way back from driving Micah to school, I played a couple of games of chicken. You see, I just didn't have it in me to tolerate an inpatient, VIP (in his own mind) flashing his lights at me to move over as he is heading toward me in my lane because there is traffic in his lane! I decided I was not going to move over and he would just have to figure out some other selfish plan to get himself to wherever he was in such a hurry to get!
Now this one I'm tired of every day, but yesterday it seemed especially bothersome to me that all of my clothes are stretched out. I could embrace it and convince myself it is because I have lost weight so my clothes no longer fit, however that one doesn't fly when I am looking at sleeves that fall past my hands! Thankfully, I don't wear long sleeve shirts very often.
I went outside to check on Micah and saw Gigi riding Micah's bike, AGAIN!! First, let me provide you with an explanation. It appears to be a cultural thing here that all the kids just share everything, for the most part, until they break. If you are not riding your bike, or playing with your ball, or using your outside toys, it is free game for whoever wants to use them! Most of the kids in our cul-de-sac area have a bike, bought here, and I have seen them one by one break down, get repaired, break down again. We bought Micah's bike from a missionary family who was leaving, and it was bought in the states. Micah LOVES his bike and rides it every chance he gets. He has learned to ride without training wheels, and is even learning to do tricks (like a scramble, emphasis on the "-ble"). I do not want Micah's bike to get broken, nor do I want to continually bring his bike to be repaired and get shafted on the cost because I am not from here.
Well, considering my dull, unhappy kind of day, when I saw Gigi on Micah's bike I was done being Mrs Nice Guy and yelled at him, in front of all the kids. Now before you start feeling sorry for this kid, let me enlighten you! I have asked MANY times, in my shiny, happy way, that he (and others) please not ride Micah's bike. It is quite obvious that Gigi knows he is not supposed to ride it by the way he quickly jumps off when he sees me. He even goes so far as to tell Micah that he will be Micah's buddy if he can ride his bike! (Gigi is 5 or 6 years old, and Micah thinks he is the greatest thing on earth!) Lastly, Gigi has his own bike!
I absolutely believe that God is sovereign, He is in control of all things, He can do anything! As many of you know, our plan was for me to provide counseling at Tumaini once we got settled in and Micah is in school. Being an intern, I need a CA licensed supervisor to supervise me and sign off on my hours. It has been quite the roller coaster ride trying to figure out how I will receive supervision from across the globe!
I finally have secured a supervisor, and received a discouraging email from her yesterday. We are going back and forth with the Board of Behavioral Science as to whether I am indeed eligible for supervision via videoconferencing. They are not sure if I qualify since I am in a different country, not just a different state! It is not my burden, though I carry the frustration!
I am a missionary living in a city in a third world country, far away from family and friends, and chocolate chips, and good parmesan cheese, and smooth roads, and clothes dryers, and same pricing for everyone, and strong, consistent internet, and good black olives, and, and, and...
Well, I guess that's enough sharing of little things that contributed to my dull, unhappy day yesterday! I am pleased to say that today has been much better, I bought beautiful, healthy lavendar and white field daises (for $1.30), and tomorrow is Friday!
Micah gave us a good laugh the other morning. We wish we had thought to take pictures but we were trying to be serious. Micah went downstairs around 7am, and I think Robb and I were both waiting for the other to get up. I kept thinking "It's not a good idea to leave him down there alone" but I persisted (I was soooo tired and I hardly ever get to sleep in). So Robb finally went down around 7:20, and then I heard Micah say, "Daddy, look, it's beautiful!" Robb called up to me, "I need your help, right now!" I flew out of bed and ran downstairs!
Micah had climbed the chair arm and taken down 4 bottles of paint and paint brushes that my sister Susan had sent. He took a piece of paper off the dining table (happened to be a copy of pics of my nieces that my mom sent) put it on the coffee table and proceeded to "paint"! He ended up dumping paint on the piece of paper, which was hanging off the table so paint had poured down onto the rug. Micah had taken his jammy pants off so his legs were covered with paint as well as his jammy top, arms and face! (not like when he painted himself tho). We then saw that our cat Kahawa had blue paint on his head. We assumed it poured onto him but Micah said, "I put it there with the paint brush! I wanted a blue cat!"
At this point Robb and I were looking at each other holding back from laughing hysterically!! Thankfully the paint came off the rug and the table, and it is almost out of Kahawa's fur. The paper with my nieces pics on it was obviously ruined, and his jammy shirt stained! Micah was given a time out, but we did acknowledge it was partly our faults for being immature and waiting for the other to get up first!
We all receive them, usually unwillingly and begrudgingly. I receive so many more interruptions here than I ever did in the states, and I have to admit that sometimes these interruptions are met with frustration. Everything already takes so much longer here...The amazing thing about these interruptions though, is that I am so often blessed by them!
There are several dukas (or shops) just outside our front gate. I usually only shop at them when I need something I have run out of. As I've mentioned before, relationships are big here, which means I cannot just run in, grab what I need, pay and run out (which is usually what I want to do since I'm usually in a hurry!) The owner of the walk-in duka (as opposed to the walk-up dukas) is John. He is an older man and loves to chat. He always has questions about me, my family, America, etc., which means I've developed a relationship with him.
The tube in one of Micah's bike tires got a hole in it (definitely not a surprise considering the roads!) There are bike repair "fundis" (fundi: craftsman) everywhere along the roads, but considering my nationality I knew I would not get a fair price for such a simple repair. I decided to ask John how much it would typically cost for a tube repair. He knew I would not get a fair price so he offered to take Micah's bike to the bike repair fundi he uses and said he'd have it back the next day. It cost only 150/- (about $2), a price I never would have gotten!
Another blessing from these "relationship interruptions" is trust! While at John's duka the other day I decided to buy our gate guards sodas (and a few for Robb). I did not have any empties with me so rather than charge me the bottle fees John told me to have the guards return the bottles directly to him and to just bring him 3 empties. We're not talking about a whole lot of money here, but it was the fact that I have spent time "chatting" and John knows he can trust me!
Lastly, the other day I was upstairs trying to finish something on the computer. This time of the day is always filled with many interruptions from Micah and his friends coming in and out of the house, tattle-taling, needing water, etc. I had already run downstairs several times to answer taps on our gate (Evans returning a soda bottle, kids asking where Micah is, etc.) Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated when I had to run downstairs again to see who was tapping on our gate this time.
It was Margaret, the woman who sells us fish. She did not have any fish with her, and I had told her the other day that I would not need fish again until the following week. She is someone I have invested time in developing a relationship. Regardless of what I'm doing when she shows up, I have chosen to sit and chat with her while she debones and cleans the fish. She is a very strong Christian, works hard, is honest, trustworthy, very nice, and she just loves Micah. Her family lives up-country while she lives here in Kibera (the slum close by) to make money selling fish.
Margaret has never asked us for anything, though I know she struggles (as do most people here.) I asked her how she was and she began telling me about her struggle to send her son back to school for a term so he can receive a higher score. I guess he has been very distressed about it and so of course, she is distressed about it as well. A couple of other missionaries had already given her some money but she had to use some of it for doctor's bills. She just discovered that she is pregnant! Her youngest is 8, and she had "been closed" following his birth. Margaret is even more distressed about this pregnancy since her husband is currently out of work and her income selling fish is barely enough to provide for them now.
She has very strong faith though. She loves God and knows that He will provide. We decided to give her some money so I asked her to come in. Micah was inside playing with some friends and they were quite loud, but Margaret steps into our livingroom and immediately starts to pray! I could not understand much of it, except for "asante sana Yesu" or "Thank you very much Jesus", several times!
Well, I am also saying "Asante sana Yesu" for allowing me to receive such blessings in my day to day interruptions!
The head guard at our main gate lost all of his and his family’s possessions and most of his house in a fire recently. Our estate committee was asking everyone to consider helping him out financially. Robb talked with Henry regarding his needs and we decided to give him the mattress our bed came with along with the metal frame that we couldn’t fit up the stairs of our house.
Henry explained that he also had another mattress someone gave him but wasn’t sure how he was going to get them home. Robb offered to put all three on top of our car and take them to Henry’s house one night after he got home from the hangar. Henry told Robb that he lives “close by here.”
Okay, so he doesn’t live really far but it isn’t what I would call “close by here!” Henry lives in Kibera Slum about 3 miles (or about 15-30 min, depending on traffic) from us and then another 20 mins into the slum. Robb had to park the car at a certain point (Henry arranged for a couple of men to watch it – for a fee of course!) and then they walked the rest of the way to Henry’s house, about 30-40 yards down a hill, through open sewage. If we thought driving in Nairobi was interesting, driving in Kibera is like a whole different world! There are no roads, so imagine driving down a wide dirt walkway with dukas (or small shops) along both sides and hundreds of people sharing the space. Occasionally, it is necessary to find a space along the side to allow another car to pass. There are very few cars in Kibera. Robb only hit two dukas, almost taking the roof off one with one of the mattresses, a wheelbarrow, and maybe nudged a pedestrian or two (it was hard to tell since so many were faking it!)
Robb left around 5:30pm. I called him at 6:30pm to see how things were going and he said he would be another 20-30 mins. I called him again at 7:15pm and he said they were almost to our house. Henry insisted that he drive all the way back to the gate with Robb to make sure that Robb got back safely. Henry’s wife, daughter, and a friend also came along, just to the end of Kibera. As they drove through Kibera Henry’s wife and daughter were having a great time waving and chatting to friends they passed, making sure they were seen in a car being driven by a mzungu (or white person!) It was funny!
Apparently, Robb offering to take the mattresses and frame to Henry’s house was really really BIG! While at Henry’s house some bread and soda were brought in and they talked for a while. (Silly us for thinking Robb could just go drop the things off and come right back! It completely slipped our minds that it is culturally polite for Robb to spend some time with them. You never just stop by someone’s house for a couple of minutes!)
Henry’s house is probably the size of our small living room. It did not appear to Robb that the bed frame or mattresses were going to fit but they will figure out something. Robb said that they had already rebuilt most of the house with mud and sticks, and corrugated steel for the roof. I am sure they are still lacking a lot for what they lost in the fire.
Robb met Henry’s wife, daughter, older sons, several neighbors and their kids, and even the neighbor who caused the fire (it was electrical)! Anyway, they were delaying Robb at the house for some time when finally someone returned with a rooster for him! Now I imagine you are picturing a nice little rooster in a wood box or something. I am going to blow that imagine right out of the water! It is still hard for me to see this, but they transport live chickens and roosters upside down, feet tied together. They are a resource of food (eggs) or just food themselves!
Robb told them that he wouldn’t know what to do with it and everyone had a good laugh over that. If Robb brought home a live rooster we would have a new pet who would contribute to the neighborhood’s early morning wake-up cockle-doodle doos! (which incidentally start at 4am!!) One of the guys at the hangar told Robb that in Henry’s tribe from Western Kenya (Luyia, I think) giving a chicken is of the highest honor! Henry is so appreciative of an effort that seemed like nothing to us! It was not so much the giving of the bed and mattress, but transporting them to Henry’s house that was huge!
We often see interesting signs when we're out and about, so we decided to start taking pictures. The first is near a cemetary we often pass on Langata Road. We really have no clue what it means!
While sitting in stop-and-barely-go traffic on our way out of Nairobi one day, I spotted this sign outside a little shop. Buy your shovel, broom head, rope, and oh yes, don't forget your housegirl!
Lastly, my favorite! I spotted this sign while waiting in line to check out at Uchumi, a grocery store. Around the holidays I came to realize that the increase of the goats I was seeing was not because people were getting pets or starting small herds. It was getting close to holiday meal time! I haven't seen the two white goats that first showed up in the field in our complex, but the black and white one is still happily grazing!
I had no intention of writing about the internet, especially since I have not posted in almost one month. However, the reason I have not posted in almost one month is because of the wonderful internet! I do not like to be on the computer during the day because of Micah, so the only time I have to get on the internet is at night after Micah is in bed. Well, it just so happens that the internet strength decreases significantly at about 4pm and doesn't get better until around midnight, if I'm lucky! I know this because I was up that late one night trying to complete one post! Take tonight for instance. I have been trying to upload one image, compressed and all, for the last hour. Not only is the connection really bad, but it continually disconnects! "Dial-up" comes to my mind! Our intention is to get a new internet service called Zuku. They claim to have very fast and very reliable connection! They actually come to your house and install an antenae of sorts on the roof of your house. So, stay tuned! Please be patient with us and keep checking back!
